14: rescue diver (part 2)

The morning of the practical I was feeling pretty nervous. We'd gone over everything but I hadn't had time to read through all of the manual from cover to cover and I was concerned, being the square I am, that I would have missed something. We weren't meeting until later in the morning, so I tried to have a good breakfast and flicked through the book, but I'd reached saturation point.

a typical cause of diver stress
There were three of us doing the practical exam, me, Marie from Canada, and Natalie. Jimmy was our course instructor, and helping him were two other divemasters, Sophie from England and Guillermo from Ecuador. We´d been warned that as part of the course we´d need to be vigilant on safety, so we had to check over the boat, which had been cunningly stripped of first aid equipment, oxygen and life vests by the wily crew. We ran about gathering all the bits we needed and I gathered all the names of everyone who would be on the boat to give to the office in case of emergency, and formed a roll call. While we were getting set up, Jimmy and Guillermo seemed to be having a spat (see manual section on "signs of diver stress"!): Guillermo was drinking 'beer' and Jimmy was muttering profanities in his direction. Aware that this was a (quite well acted) set up, I approached Guillermo, who was near the oxygen room and appeared to be hammering crooked nails into a piece of wood (as you do), and asked him should he really be drinking and perhaps he could please put away the hammer in case there was some terrible accident that required EFR personnel. None of it was real of course, but we were primed for tricks, and there was an air of drama about, particularly among the students doing their open water course who wondered what the hell was going on.

Once we we'd set the boat up, we sat up on the wooden deck for the briefing. Jimmy had told us the day before that he was pleasantly surprised at how well we had done on all the skills in the water, and that while he normally had comments, he'd had nothing he felt he needed to point out to us. I knew he had tricks up his sleeve that day, and told him I didn't trust him one bit. He did give me a strong travel sickness pill though, as I'd told him I was worried about getting sick again.

I was getting my kit together and chatting to Sophie when there was the crash of an air tank behind me, and suddenly Jimmy was sprawled face down on the ground halfway down a ramp, with his legs twisted awkwardly half in and half out of the tank room. Guillermo was doing a good job of playing the anguished attacker, shouting "what have I done?" and rocking backwards and forwards slightly madly. I told him to shut up, and held Jimmy's head while Marie tried to roll him awkwardly over down the ramp. As he turned I saw that he had blood (or, ketchup) all over his face. I started to simulate CPR, when Guillermo screamed "I can no longer live with myself!" and ran over to the dock where he dived into the water and started to drown himself. I told Marie to go and sort him out. I had to press my mouth to Jimmy's cheek to simulate CPR, and after a few moments, he was "awake"! I had succeeded. I then turned my attention to Guillermo, where Marie was getting him out of the water. As I walked down the deck, a girl looked and me and gestured as if to say "you've got something on your face", and I couldn't help laughing, because I knew I was totally smeared in ketchup.

our boat. No, really
We weren't going far to the dive site where we would do our practical scenarios, but the minute we crossed the reef I knew we were in for a challenge. The waves were crashing so high there was surf on top of them (Jimmy later told us 6-8ft waves), and I knew that this was prime hurling conditions. We anchored a little way off shore and immediately got in the water to practice towing an unresponsive diver back to the boat. The conditions off the dock had been flat and calm; the only thing we'd had to worry about were the skills we were concentrating on. Here in the open water, the waves were crashing so high that most of the time I could barely see the boat: Marie was the 'victim', and I towed her back to the boat. Next we did panicked diver. The first bit of this went ok, but my mask was slipping and I'd swallowed a lot of water and got it in my eyes. I felt the rush of nausea coming over me and a huge frustration that it was just too hard, and my confidence in myself wavered. Jimmy and Guillermo were both on the boat and knew something was up. The ladder to the boat was being pulled out by the waves and every time I tried to climb it crashed into me and bashed me hard in the stomach. Jimmy, who'd threatened he was hard as nails, said "don't worry honey" in his southern drawl and helped me up. Within seconds Guillermo had got my BCD and weight belt off and got me some water, but I just felt so upset at feeling sick and needing to get out. After a while I was sick and felt better. Jimmy told me later he didn't think I would get back in the water. I started to put my kit back on.

Jimmy decided we should immediately focus on the underwater skills, to get away from the waves and surface current. We all descended about 10-15 metres into a sandy pit between some coral walls, where immediately the instructors started dismantling everyone's equipment. They started taking off their BCDs, undoing the BCD inflator hoses, losing their masks, loosening their air tanks so they floated away... and it wasn't just them. My tank was unhooked, and various bits of my equipment were detatched by stealth. The whole point was to present a problem solving exercise: prioritising what needed to be sorted first, and being alert to problems. It went on for ages, it was a bit like a circus - just chaos everywhere, fins floating about, masks in the sand - but it was fun and my sickness abated a bit. We then moved on to underwater rescue exercises; I had to bring one of the instructors to the surface who had a ´hand injury´. Of course, she started to struggle, and as we reached about two feet from the surface, I realised Jimmy had turned my air supply off (which I knew might be coming at some point), so I turned to her and gestured 'out of air'. He turned it back on immediately and as we surfaced said I'd done exactly the right thing, but was bemused as to why it had taken nine metres for me to realise my air was out, as he'd turned it off at the bottom.

that's me, hanging from the helicopter
At the surface, we tried again the rescue of an unresponsive diver, that I'd been unable to do earlier. Sophie was the victim. I swam out to her and went through all the actions required: checking for breathing, simulating CPR and kicking to get her back to the boat, while at the same time starting to undo her equipment. After a few moments, the instructor who was monitoring me said "you'd better start swimming soon", and I turned and realised that I had gone nowhere, despite swimming as hard as I could. The conditions were awful; the waves were crashing above us and I was trying to shield the water from getting in Sophie's face, and swallowing a lot of it myself along the way. The rules are: if you can get back to the boat in under 5 minutes, continue CPR; if you can't, just get swimming. So I swam, pulling Sophie along as I went. As I neared the boat, the back of it was rearing up about a foot out of the water, and it was impossible to keep hold of her and get her equipment off at the same time. The only way I could do it was by dragging her hair, because if I held on to her equipment, she would just start to float away. She was still playing unconscious, but I kept telling her how sorry I was I was hurting her. She had some awareness of where we were, and had to hold her head out of the water a little, which was good because we were so near the crashing stern that it would have broken both our necks if we got underneath it. Jimmy was watching carefully from the boat and as I got Sophie's equipment off, I called to him and said could he please help with her hands. He held them as I struggled against the bastard ladder and got out, asking the captain to help get my gear off, and together we both hauled Sophie on to the boat. As I turned her over and did another check, Jimmy clapped me on the back and said well done.

We went for a bit of a leisure dive after that, although I was a bit on edge as I was expecting more tricks, and by the time we got back on the boat I was sadly feeling ill again. Jimmy said the conditions were too bad to stay out there, so we headed back to the marina, and as soon as we got off the boat I puked my guts up. I wobbled back to go and start rinsing kit and putting it away, when suddenly the spat between Jimmy and Guillermo began again. This time, they were so convincing it really looked nasty: they hit each other and fell to the ground, rolling into the water off the dock. There was ketchup everywhere. The final trick. We eventually got them out of the water and sat up on the raised deck with cokes to go over it. Jimmy's top was stained with salsa. He was very proud of all of us, and said that the conditions were the worst he's ever done the Rescue Diver course in.

The next day I took the written exam, and Clare called me a loser because I got 100%. So now it's official, I can rescue you from any water based emergencies, but as I've already told Helen, I'm afraid my skills will only go so far: I believe she's still stuck in the bath, wrinkling up, looking more like a dried fig every day.

13: rescue diver (part 1)

divemaster Dec
Now I don't have many photos to accompany this post, mainly because I spent a lot of time in the water for the rest of this week, so some of them will be random, and I'll nick some more of Clare's. As part of signing up for courses, Clare and I got two free dives, which we took on the Monday morning. Utila is meant to be one of the best diving locations in the Caribbean, but I have to say both Clare and I were a little underwhelmed. I've been diving in Brazil, Mexico, Belize, the Virgin Islands and the Red Sea and all of them had richer coral and aquatic life than I saw off Utila. Admittedly, the reef has suffered hurricane damage, but it was disappointing nonetheless. For some reason, I felt sea sick during our dive (I am prone but not usually when the sea is calm) and I had to be sick underwater, which is an interesting experience. I swam away from Clare to find a spot away from any coral, but she kept swimming towards me... even though I think she knew what was about to happen. She wasn't going to leave me! You have to be quite technical: your regulator is set up so that you can puke through it, so you really have to time breathing carefully. Reassuringly for me, I didn't panic, so all was well. Our dives were directed by Irishman Dec, who helped me out of the water and kindly got me water and out of my kit. He used to be a corporate banker in London and then decided to become a divemaster in Utila, where he and his wife Sarah have built a house. The two of them were a fab pair; both bleached blonde by the sun and with an air of cheerfulness that comes with living on the water. It turns out Sarah was from Bexleyheath, very near me, so we had a moments of nostalgia!

That afternoon Clare started her course, so I met up with her on the high rise deck at the dive centre that evening, where I got chatting to Dan, an army officer on leave who would be going to Afghanistan later in the year. We sat chatting and drinking beer in the warm evening air, watching the sun slip away beneath the horizon, and headed across to an Italian restaurant to top up our carbohydrate intake, which I'm sure was at perilously low levels.

I had a quiet morning the next day while Clare was continuing her course. As part of doing the Rescue Diver course, I also had to do the PADI-endorsed Emergency First Responder course: basically first aid. I spent the afternoon in the dive centre watching the EFR video, amused by all the staged scenarios where the responder just happened to be carrying latex gloves and a pocket breathing mask. There were just two of us doing the course; our instructor Jimmy came in and introduced himself after we'd finished watching the videos, and I sat chatting with him for a while when we were on our own. Jimmy was a heavily accented "ex law enforcement official" from Tennessee, and he was keen to let me know that this would be an incredibly hard course, and it was likely that I would cry at some point, which I found pleasing. We started the EFR part of the course early the next morning, talking about all the usual first aid stuff like breathing and CPR, as well as things like administration of oxygen etc. It was Clare's birthday, so that evening we headed out with the boys to a Mexican restaurant and the treehouse bar at the Jade Seahorse.

probably good that this is small and blurry
After finishing EFR the next morning we started the theory of the Rescue Diver course. I`d been lent one of UDC's manuals and needed had to read the whole book in about two days; we would get in the water the next day. That afternoon, Clare had finished her course, so we celebrated by lazing about in the pool drinking beers from the pizza restaurant, and the longer we stayed, the more and more people seemed to join us. It turned into a bit of a crazy pool party, mainly where Clare, Dave and I tried to drown each other, and Aaron bought us (me? I think I ate most of it) pizza which we ate sitting in the jacuzzi. Eventually we drank the bar out of beer and that sort of put a stop to proceedings.

We got in the water off the dock the next morning. I was ready to be burned alive by the sun, so was attractively geared up with a long wet suit and a headscarf to protect me from getting fried. If you've never had to get in or out of a full wetsuit: imagine being in a changing room in a shop, trying to get on and do up a pair of trousers that are slightly too small for you? Well, it's like that, but less dignified, and in public.After several hours, I had got it on, and we were in the water.

bad photo of divers practicing off the dock
We started off with basic surface skills: how to drag a diver back to a boat; how to manage a panicked diver. The first was pretty easy: pull them back by their tank or using an arm lock. The second was a bit more taxing, as a panicked diver is likely to try and climb on top of you or pull you under, so you have to swim under the water, creep up behind them, grab their tank and inflate their BCD. Of course, the instructors made it as hard as they could, so they would immediately start struggling even more, which meant getting hit in the face and them trying to pull out your air supply.

We continued skills under the water, doing buddy breathing (where you breathe from your buddy's alternate regulator) and rescuing unresponsive divers from the sand, and later moved to rescuing an unresponsive diver from the surface, which involved combining giving CPR and dragging them back to the boat - a bit harder than I thought it would be. Tomorrow we would go over all the skills we had learned, and head out into open water to do the practical part of the exam. We were promised that surprises would be in store.

12: from Belize to Honduras

Clare and a tube

The ATM caves were a hard act to follow, but the next day we went on a cave tubing trip. This basically involved a bit of a walk through a forest carrying a large rubber ring, after which point we jumped into the river sitting on said ring.

Sadly our tour guide didn´t seem as interested in us as the ATM guys were, so we didn't get the same sort of helpful narrative about the surrounding area, aside from him serving up termites. I can't remember if Clare ate any, but she certainly knew that they tasted "minty". Unfortunately the idea of eating live bugs straight from their nest didn't really appeal, so I passed.

The site was much more set up for tourists than the ATM caves were. There was a big reception area with  picnic tables and a restaurant. The walk to the river entrance had steps put in and rails where the ground was a bit uneven; where the ATM caves were so raw and rough, this felt almost a bit Disney-fied. It was fun though. After we had launched into the water, we floated down under a giant cave roof in virtual darkness and past giant formations. After a while, as the river got faster, we all had to link up and float as a group. The guide pulled us in the right direction using a rope, and all I can say is that he must have had incredible strength to do so in the weight of the water. We went over mini rapids and under a swarm of bats, and it was enjoyable, but rather sedate. One of the more exciting moments came when one of the more adventurous boys decided he was ready to go the rapids alone, and popped his tube.

The next morning we teamed up with Kim and took a couple of buses to Placencia, right on the south east coast, the intention being to take the boat from there to Honduras. Placencia is known as a place "for US retirees", and sure enough, the building happening along the road down the thin strip of land was astounding, a bit like being in a sort of mini-Florida. We managed to get ourselves set up in a decent hotel right on the beach, and spent the next day doing absolutely nothing but lazing on the sand (Kim went diving but I passed as I still had a cold). Clare went down to the office to get our boat tickets and came back empty handed: our boat had engine problems so we would have to go back to Dangriga, further up the coast, and catch our bus from there.

refugees?
After an evening of very rich coconut shrimp curry and various quantities of rum, we got back on an early bus heading north. The driver changed CDs, and soon we were listening to Dolly Partons Christmas Classics; I don't think I need to explain the incongruity, but it was very very funny, and the driver himself was laughing so hard he was almost crying. Kim left us along the road to Dangriga to visit the Jaguar ecology centre.

I'm not sure what I imagined the ferry to Honduras to be like, but as I sat there waiting for Clare to get her passport back and get on, all I could think that there were an awful lot of people, queueing for a very small boat. Eventually the boat got so full that people, including Clare, were sitting on the floor. The guy sitting next to me was a prime example of why travellers should have a shower as often as possible; at one point he stretched his arms up and I was nearly sick. It was a good three hours to Puerto Cortez in Honduras, a lot of it spent bumping up and down, but at least I had a seat; poor Clare was sitting on the floor unable to lay back due to the risk of squashing a small sleeping boy.

The boat arrived to chaos: taxi drivers touting for business crowded the boat so much that we were practically being pushed back into the water, but by this stage we had teamed up with a couple of doctors called Huw and Lowrie, so we stood our ground and walked up to the main road to get a cheaper taxi to the immigration office. It's always a bit nerve racking not having your passport (especially not being "officially" anywhere), but we soon had them back and jumped on a colectivo to San Pedro Sula. Along the road I was struck how developed Honduras is; there were loads of great shiny shopping malls and restaurants lining the road, and the bus station at San Pedro Sula was simply huge. Just when we thought we would not be able to catch a bus that evening, we decided to try the posh bus company Hedman Alas, and managed to get on our way to La Ceiba.

spot the shrine to bananas
The next morning we took the ferry from La Ceiba to Utila. It was a proper ferry, with proper seats, which was a bonus. On arrival we met up with Utila Dive Centre and they showed us the hotel we would stay at: a leafy pleasant place with a pool and pizza restaurant called the Mango Tree; then took us down to the dive centre to talk about options. Clare signed up to do her Advanced Open Water again, and I signed up to do Rescue Diver - more about that later! We weren't starting for a couple of days, so explored the island and did boring things like laundry. There is a curious place that's a bar and hotel called the Jade Seahorse, and it seems to be a sort of outdoor art gallery too, with all sorts of weird sculptures made out of bottles and bits of tile and coloured glass. Hanging everywhere were big banana spiders (not sure if they're called that because they eat bananas or look like them; they're yellow, anyway).

... aaaaah ...
The open air pizza restaurant at the Mango played movies a couple of times a week, and so we relaxed over pizza and pasta whilst watching Shutter Island, a sadly disappointing DeCaprio/Scorcese production, sitting with who were to be our friends that week: Aaron and Bryce (Aussie), Dave (US) and Marina (Aussie). We all bonded over a kitten, which seemed to be wandering round ownerless and I succeeded in getting to sleep in my lap for the duration of the film. Clare didn't bond over the kitten of course, she just rolled her eyes and sighed, but didn't go quite so far as saying she wanted to kick it.

11: underground




We left Caye Caulker the same way we had come in, on the chunky speedboat back to Belize City, and found our way to the rather run down bus station to catch a bus to San Ignacio, in the west of the country. A lot of the regular buses in central america are old US school buses, some of them still the trademark yellow. They're bouncy, and the seats have probably more than seen their last day, so you end up being bounced into the metal frame. This is OK for a short journey to the shops, but it's a bit of an arse cruncher when you're travelling across country. That said, Belize is pretty small, so getting to San Ignacio took about three hours or so, and it was interesting to see the country pass by through the windows. Central america is unbelieveably lush and green, blessed with rolling hills and tropical plants dripping with flowers. On arrival at San Ignacio we faffed about a bit trying to find a place to stay, eventually settling on J&R hostel, run by a kindly elderly man. We told him we were interested in visiting the Actun Tunichil Muknal (ATM) caves and he told us we would get a deal if we mentioned his name at Mayawalk Tours down in the town. We'd already decided we were heading there anyway, and I guess it wasn't too much of a surprise to hear that his 'deal' was not exclusive and every other hostel and B&B in town were offering this discount! We booked the cave trip for the next morning and decided on doing cave tubing the following day. At the tour office we made friends with the lovely Kim, an ecologist from home who`d already visited the caves that day and said they were brilliant.

The next morning broke to one of the most amazing experiences of my journey so far (so sorry, but this might be a bit of a long one). Our bus (an old school one of course) headed back on the road to Belmopan, stopping to pick up our lunch, rucksacks and helmets along the way, finally turning off on to a bumpy muddy road leading down the tracks towards the cave. As the bus lurched in and out of the ditches, our guides pointed out the various crops being grown in the fields by the road in neat rows: mahogany, oranges, and the very odd looking cotton tree, that had a ring of thorns round its base like a giant rose. Throughout the day our guide were great, highlighting plans and animals and describing their function in the jungle.

whatever this was, it was rank
We started our hike through the jungle - it wasn`t long or strenuous, but it was interesting and fantastic fun. Within a few metres of the start of the trail we were waist height in water, crossing quite a fast moving river. Luckily we had known what to expect and we were both wearing pretty much just swimming gear. We`d managed to borrow some trainers from Mayawalk, which was great because the only closed shoes either of us had were hiking boots, which we didn`t fancy getting wet. Our guide Carlos told us he used to work for the British army (still stationed in Belize in areas) as a tracker, and as we hiked he pointed out tracks of big cats in the mud, and did slightly odder things like coaxing a tarantula out of its hidey hole. We were given leaves to taste and told of their medicinal properties (some were more pleasant than others), and crossed the river two more times before we reached the base camp area.

eel first aid with a machete
We stopped for a rest and got our stuff together for entering the cave. We would leave our bags here, and Carlos would take cameras in his dry bag - although Clare had her waterproof one too so we kept that ourselves. After eating some suspiciously orange crisps, I rinsed my hands in the river, and then, struck by all the silvery fish, wondered whether any good photos would come out, so I borrowed Clare`s camera and stuck it under the water. Needless to say they were crap, but a few moments later Clare thought she would have a go.

There was a shriek from behind me, and I turned to see Clare looking a bit surprised, with blood running down her fingers, exclaiming "some fucker bit me!". Carlos rinsed her finger in drinking water, exposing the (quite deep) bite marks, and exclaimed it to be an eel. After iodining and wrapping her up, he took the camera back to the water and managed to get some photos of the attacker, which was sticking up and holding still as though it were a stick. But I won't post them here, they're simply too horrifying and evil.

After getting over the shock of this vicious, unprovoked attack, we let the other group go first, and climbed over the rocks to the right of the cave into the deep pool immediately under the cave entrance. It's quite hard swimming in trainers, you know. We climbed up quite a steep ledge and followed Carlos round into the river flowing out of the cave.

As we moved away from the light of the entrance, it was clear how dark it was inside, and the light from our helmets barely penetrated this darkness. The water was a constant roar in our ears, and we moved up the river in pairs, passing on warnings to the pair behind us if there was a sharp ledge or a big rock under the water. I stayed at the back, and occasionally I would turn and look behind me, half expecting to see something or someone else. We climbed up through the river for maybe two hours, clambering over massive boulders and up slippery ledges, all the time wading through the rushing water, which was at points sometimes so strong it felt as though it would sweep you away. There were lots of ways you could get hurt, and it was pretty important to be sure footed and not let yourself slip, as if you do there are lots of sharp rocks under the water waiting to stab you. It was striking to think that hundreds of years ago the Mayans had climbed up into these caves with only firelight, and at points Carlos told us there were little grooves where fires would have been lit along the way. At points we were swimming again, the bed of the river at some untold depth.

Clare and I swimming through the caves

Clare and Carlos in the cathedral
Along the way Carlos pointed out to us the natural formations of the rock; where the lime was active and slimy like some sort of cave troll snot, and where it was inactive, sparkling like thousands of microscopic gemstones. At one point along the river there was a patch of earthy ground where, inexplicably, there grew a cluster of green and healthy looking plants in the darkness. There were holes in the soft ceiling above us that had been dug out by bats, but sadly they were not to be seen any more, kept away by the noise and lights of human visitors.

We reached our destination point. There was a large rock to our right, and above that a very steep incline of about 15ft of rocky earth that looked climeable. Carlos directed us how to climb the rock, where to put our feet, and we navigated round it onto the ledge above. It was a bit of a scramble to the top, but then we were away from the river crashing below. Carlos told us to take off our shoes and walk in our socks, to avoid damaging the fragile floor but keeping out the oils and bacteria from our feet. Both were full of river grit. All around us, half buried in the earth, were bits of pottery and little orange ribbons denoting the areas where we should not step. Carlos told us a little about the cave, which was believed to represent an entrance to the Mayan underworld Xibalba.

Pot with monkey detail
We climbed up through a small entrance and found ourselves in the 'cathedral', a giant cavern decorated with massive stalactites and stalagmites millions of years old. Everywhere beneath our feet were Mayan artefacts, thousands of years old, some smashed and in pieces, some whole, all calcified into the earth. We took a lot of photographs, but many of them have not come out well due to the flash catching the tiny droplets of moisture present in the air. Carlos told us that 98% of the artefacts were untouched. It's incredible that they have not been removed to a museum, but it seems that there is nowhere suitable to take them, and here remains the safest place.

This was a place of sacrifice. Archeologists have recorded the remains so far of 14 humans, the majority of which are children. On ledges, out of reach and away from our sight, were skeletons of babies that were sacrificed by the Mayans. Carlos warned us to keep our cameras away from the artefacts to avoid damaging them, and at one point threatened to take away the (very nice) camera of one of our group as the lady insisted on placing her camera so close to the remains. As if to highlight the point, we later came across a smashed ulna, and when Clare asked what had happened to it, Carlos shrugged and said "a tourist dropped their camera on it".

It is clearly very sad to think that such precious remains could be destroyed by someone behaving so carelessly, but this strengthened something that both Clare and I were already feeling: should we be here? Not just anybody is allowed to come into the caves; the Belizean tourist board has only granted licenses for a small number of tour companies to conduct them, and the groups are small. To prevent any further erosion to the site, it seems obvious that it's only a matter of time before the caves are closed to tourists for good. To have any higher number of visitors enter the caves would equal destruction of the site. That doesn't address the fact that it's a sacred area, and having it as a tour site doesn't sit well with many people of Mayan descent. We both felt a sort of selfish catch 22 about this: on the one hand, we felt privileged to be able to see such a place, but on the other, we felt that we didn't want anyone else to go there or to threaten what remains.

We picked our way carefully through the cathedral, coming to an area where a 20ft ladder had been erected. Two of our group, including Clare, have a real problem with heights, so it was a case of pacing it and going slowly. As we all gathered at the top, Carlos asked us all to turn off our headtorches and sit for a few moments in silence. After a minute or two, he asked us each to say a few words about how we felt coming into the caves. It could have been cheesy, and anywhere else it would have been, but it wasn't.


We moved on and climbed a little further down, until we reached a chamber that led no further, and here, sprawled on the floor, lay the Crystal Maiden.

the Crystal Maiden
Carlos told us that he thought she lay exactly in the position that she died; there are apparently cracks in her spine, and she lays in such a way that it looks as though she were pushed backwards. Of course we will never know exactly what happened, or why she was sacrificed.

Coming back down the ladder was a little more traumatic than coming up, but we made our way back to where we had left our shoes and negotiated our way out of the cave, hiking back down the river the same way we had come in. Carlos had obviously judged our temperaments by this stage, and decided it would be funny to hide from us on top of ledges and take our photos. He deliberately took us back the hard way, squeezing through tight areas that only our necks would fit through, sliding down ledges into whirlpools where the water was so strong it almost took my shorts off.

I've had many adventures so far, and clearly the whale sharks and the manatees are up there as experiences of a lifetime, but I will never forget our trip to the ATM caves, which is probably one of the most fun, interesting and exciting things I've done in the last ten years.

10: close encounters

our boat in the rain
The next couple of days were slow. What I thought was a dry throat due to a three tank dive turned out to be a cold. Lots of Prison Break was watched (although there still seemed to be thousands of episodes to go), and we kept seeing two old American ladies driving round and round town on a golf buggy: Clare kept saying "that will be us, you know". We ran into the guys we´d been diving the Blue Hole with (and American and a British couple) and sat in the bar drinking coconut rum when Clare spotted Jo and Nisha, our friends from Mexico. They were going snorkelling the next day and although we´d planned to leave we decided to stay an extra day and go out on the sailboat with them.

In many ways the snorkelling was much more satisfying than the diving. We stopped in three places and on the first stop we came upon a manatee, suspended in the water just watching us. Our guide Jacob had warned us that if we saw them we should stop swimming, and so we all lay suspended in the water ourselves, watching as it seemed to drift closer. From the distance came a second one, and they stayed there, the each of us observing the other, for a good 2-3 minutes. Without wanting to anthropomorphise them in to obvious a manner, there was something very gentle and intelligent about them; perhaps it was in the way they seemed to cross their flippers while watching us, in the same way we cross our arms. When they´d decided they´d had enough, they turned away and just swam elegantly and effortlessly into the distance.

manatees
It was a rainy day, but the water was very warm. We moved on to a second site called Shark & Ray Alley, and were immediately struck but the large number of fish in the water. At this point our captain started chumming with little bits of shrimp shell, which made the fish go wild.

Jacob handling a nurse shark
We entered the water and were surrounded by rays and nurse sharks. Jacob had obviously been handing them for a long time and as he swam down to the sand they approached him as if they were dogs or cats. I´m not sure how I feel about the feeding of the aquatic life. On the one hand, the presence of tourists guarantees the fish in the area an income of food, but on the other hand, they come to depend on humans. This was evident when simply by switching on the boat´s engines we were surrounded by sharks who had come to associate the sound with food.

That said, it was fun to be in the water with them. Nurse sharks are perhaps the least aggressive sort of shark that you could swim with; in fact they seem to spend most of the time sitting on their arses, unless you swim too close, in which case they will reluctantly get up and swim off grumbling. Being nocturnal feeders, it might be more exciting to see them on a night dive to see them ambush a crab. I do like them though!

At our third site we encountered a turtle and a moray eel, amongst loads of other fish. On our way back to the boat we saw someone doing "Snuba", which is a sort of cross between snorkelling and scuba diving. It struck me as though I was watching something about diving from the 50´s: a boy was on the sand, wriggling in the way that people do when they´re learning to dive and are not yet comfortable in the water; but he had no BCD or tank, and was breathing through a long tube attached to a sort of air dinghy on the surface. I´m sure it´s quite fun, but I don´t really get why anyone would go for an in between and not, if you´re interested in diving just, erm.... try diving?

The sun finally came out on our way back to shore, and we sailed back using only the sails, drinking rum and eating tortilla chips and ceviche (prawns pickled in lime juice with chilli and tomato and onion salsa). Another good day.

9: the Blue Hole

dawn over the water
At 5.30am we padded across the sandy road up to the dive centre, located in a wooden shack at the end of a pier near the other end of the island. We sized up our BCDs and got our gear sorted and on the boat, and had breakfast of strong black coffee, monkey bread and pineapple.

Our boat was a sharp, chunky speedboat that cut through the still waters of the Cayes at pace, then we hit the edge of the reef and the sea changed; waves hit the front of the boat and brought us several feet into the air, landing us back down on the water with terrific force.

It took us about 2 hours to get out to the Blue Hole site. The formation itself is a giant sink hole in the Belize Barrier Reserve Reef system, and a UNESCO World Heritage Site. Jacques Cousteau made it famous by declaring it to be one of the top ten dive sites in the world, and at its deepest point it extends to 125m.

One of the main reasons to go there is the opportunity to dive with sharks. Now I encouraged this story to be told at the end of our dive, but Clare has an American friend, who she met on her travels, nicknamed "Tiburon" (meaning "shark" in Spanish). 25 years ago, Tiburon was spear fishing in the Blue Hole, and was attacked by a bull shark. For those of you who don`t know, bull sharks can grow up to 12ft long and are among the species most likely to attack people, appearing in places that most other sharks won`t, like swimming up rivers into fresh water. Tiburon lost most of the flesh on his lower arm, but clearly survived to tell the tale! 

So we were geared up for adventure, for being surrounded by sharks, for the crystal waters we had been promised. As soon as we got in the water I spotted a large reef shark, some way off, but the visability was poor and it soon disappeared into the distance. We descended into blackness, Clare and I both feeling apprehensive and holding hands. There was nothing below us, it was like sinking into the end of the universe. As we got deeper I looked up and saw the silhouette of three reef sharks nearer the surface. We moved closer to the wall and there were massive stalactites suspended over the chasm; and that´s where I got a bit narced.

the Blue Hole
When you dive, you breathe compressed air that contains a higher concentration of nitrogen, and if you are at depth, it can make you behave a bit oddly: there are stories of divers trying to give their regulators (air tubes) to fish so that they can breathe. I didn´t do anything like that, but I remember thinking that the pattern on the stalactites reminded me of my grandparents´ wallpaper, and wasn´t it terribly interesting that 70s fashion should have drawn from the floral looking coral deposits in deep water. It didn´t matter that neither sets of grandparents ever had 70s style wallpaper. I knew it was an odd thing to be wondering about, but if I´m really honest there wasn´t really anything else more, well, exciting to think about. Because that´s what the Blue Hole is: it´s just a big hole, and there´s nothing to see.


We were only at depth for about 7-8 minutes, and spent the rest of the dive hanging about in a nondescript sandy area with nothing really to look at. I kept watch over the deeper area in the hope that a shark might appear to alleviate the boredom of being suspended for 20 minutes at 15m with nothing to look at, but they clearly had something more interesting to do.


The other two dives of the day were much more interesting; lots more fish to see and more colour in the water. We stopped at Half Moon Caye to see the red footed boobies and the frigate bird sanctuary, and I spent a lot of time picking up hermit crabs and shrieking when they came out of their shells (see photo of Wentworth Miller below for reference). That night we got drunk on coconut rum with our divemaster José and his Mayan friend Ricardo, and Clare refused to eat dinner in case she was sick.

8: from jungle to coast

Caye Caulker
Having been to bed at some unspeakably early hour the previous night, we got an early bus from Flores to Belize City, befriending a nice German couple along the way. The bus took a good few hours, but as we crossed the border from Guatemala into Belize, we saw an immediate change in the environment. Houses were more cement and stone than shack, and cars were just a bit shinier. Also, all the supermarkets seems to have Chinese names denoting ownership. Actually, on the car note, I have to say that throughout my whole trip I must comment that most people have been driving, well, very nice cars. Lots of shiny pickup trucks. Getting off the bus in Belize City was like arriving in an (admittedly rather run down) Caribbean island. People´s faces were no longer hispanic, but black Caribbean, and as English is the predominant language in Belize there was a soft lilt to the men´s voices when they shouted "this way for the ferry!".

The ferry was less of a ferry and more of a speedboat, and of course, it started to rain the minute they were loading bags and passengers on to it. We zoomed across the shallow waters to Caye Caulker catching glimspes of marshy islands, and the odd house that seemed from a distance to have been just built on the water. On arrival on the island I left Clare with the bags and traipsed across the sand to Tina´s hostel, right next to the dock. The lady showed me the room. There was a kitchen in front of the bedroom that was filled with dirty cooking pans and a table covered in fag ends and half drunk bottles of booze, and lying on the sofas in the kitchen were two American girls that seemed to be unconscious. "Lovely, I said, we´ll take it. Erm, just for one night at the moment please."

We spent the afternoon wandering about the island, and booked ourselves in with Frenchie´s to dive the Blue Hole the day after next. We ran into Matt, the German bodybuilder, on his way back from diving the Blue Hole. He invited us to come and have a drink (coconut rum and pineapple, sweet but dangerous) and while he went to have a shower we drank most of his bottle of rum, but he didn´t seem to mind. Clare said he was getting a bit flirty but thankfully he´d met his English quota earlier in the trip so, while Scotland was ready for conquering, I was safe. Thankfully, Clare resisted.

That night there was a party in the kitchen, and one of the American girls had a chronic tummy bug throughout the night. The room had no windows, no fan, and was stinking hot. We moved hotels the next morning to the Tropical Paradise Hotel, which although not an eden was at least not hell.

We had breakfast at a lovely place called Amor y Café. It was pouring with rain outside and the combination of a proper cup of tea and the blissful smell of bacon cooking made me feel as though I was at home. Although oddly, I don´t really eat bacon at home, but that´s stereotypes for you.

Wentworth Miller wearing his tiny acting hat
By this stage in our trip, I had gone too far to turn back down the road of something I would live to regret: watching series 4 of Prison Break on Clare´s laptop. Now I must put a paragraph aside for this and for Wentworth Miller and his incredible eyebrow acting, which I believe can only be bettered by Richard Gere. Now without spoiling it for anyone who is an actual fan, series 4 is simply .... utter shite. Unfortunately it is also annoyingly addictive. Every plot line has a twist, every ending has a cliff hanger, and as it goes on they get more and more preposterous. Michael Scofield can only speak in a gutteral voice and, well, he´s got a bit fat, so they don´t show his tattoos any more. So I spent the rest of the afternoon watching that, and then we went out and ate loads of seafood, watching an american competition show about cupcake baking on the TV in the bar, and came home feeling a bit fat ourselves.

7: into the jungle

rodent evidence
We had a great night´s sleep in the jungle lodge, only disturbed by the smelly French people in the room next door who insisted on smoking strong cigarettes in their room (perhaps not realising that the ceiling was open so it just came straight into ours?). After dinner we decided to open the second bar of fruit and nut that I´d brought Clare from London, only to find that a tiny little mousey mouth had been enjoying it first. We ate it anyway, because we´re nails.

I had marvelled at the handmade roof, crafted from branches of palm, and how it so successfully kept the rain out, until Clare told me about a bug that ´drops from the palm roof, bites you, and then kills you twenty years later´. It seemed fitting that she was the one with a scorpion in her shorts that morning. If you will tell tales, Clare!

We ended up being driven from the Lacandon lodge to the border by a Lacandon chap in his car, as there was not enough room in the colectivo bus they had scheduled to pick us up in. Along the side of the roads, Birds of Paradise were growing in the bush like weeds; literally thousands of them. I told the Lacandon man that at home these flowers were very expensive and he laughed and said that here they were weeds.

It was chaos at the border post, with a noisy bus full of Mexicans clamouring in front of the desk while their tour guide shouted them instructions which they ignored. We finally got to the window and got our exits stamped, and boarded the same sort of boat we had taken to Yaxchilan.



It was a nice journey down the muddy river, whizzing past the jungles and riverside villages, and after some time we arrived at a muddy bank filled with Guatemalans offering to change currencies. We jumped on another bus for the ride to the border post for this side. As I reached into my bag for my passport, a stowaway cockroach scuttled out, which made me shriek. The bus continued along the bumpy road to the tiny island town of Flores, in the north of Guatemala. We stopped in a larger town nearby to get cash out; Clare already had enough to keep her going so I jumped out. It had just started to rain, and sadly the cash machine didn´t work. With some other bus tourists with me, we headed up the road to the next bank in the increasingly heavy shower. This machine didn´t work either. By this stage our bus had disappeared somewhere further up the road, presumably in the hope of finding us, and the rain was washing down the road like a river. We finally found a machine that worked, and I got back on the bus totally and completely soaked through, my rain jacket being helpfully packed in my backpack which was stored safe and dry on top of the bus.

the lake at Flores
On our arrival in Flores a young French couple behind us, on hearing we were planning on going to a particular hostel, inititated a race by running up the hill to try and get there before us. Clare and the boy literally ran up the hill but Clare had the upperhand in that she knew where she was going, and his moment´s hesitation at the corner of the road cost them dearly, for the tiny private room would be ours. Los Amigos, the hostel, had fantastic veggie food (I made up for the lack of meat by eating prawns - why do they count as veggie?) in a cosy restaurant next to a hammocked area where they showed various documentaries on a big screen. After dinner I changed out of my wet clothes to enjoy a cold shower, and warmed up with a drink.

The following day we booked on to the next trip to Tikal, a major Mayan site nearby, and wandered around town, looking at some of the stuff on sale in the artesan market, the best stuff being the hand carved and polished wood. I bought a small jungle badger.

don´t go in the water
Our pickup for Tikal was at 4.30 the next morning, and after dozing in the bus for an hour or so we arrived at the site just before 6am. After being warned about the crocodiles in the water, our guide took us into the main plaza, and we stood in the damp grass looking at the temples shrouded in the mist of the morning. There were lots of bees buzzing about in the grass, and although they seemed harmless their presence made me nervous, after my unexplained allergic reaction in the Virgin Islands a couple of years ago (and Mum being allergic to bees).

Temple I and the Great Plaza
The site is massive. It is listed as one of the most powerful kingdoms and one of the largest sites of the pre-Colombian Mayan civilisation. The city itself covers an area of over 6 square miles, and there is a further residential area reaching out another 20 square miles. Many of the buildings are still claimed by the jungle and have not been explored, and you might walk past buildings not even realising they were there.

grey fox


The guide took us round each section and then allowed us time to explore by ourselves, so we clambered up the various steps that were allowed to take photos, and came across a small gray fox, who didn´t seem too bothered by us. There were lots of animals and birds about; an (apparently rare) orange breasted falcon sat on the top of Temple I surveying its kingdom and ignoring the other birds that were bothered by its presence, and we saw a couple of cheeky jungle badgers who tried to nick our sandwiches, as well as toucans and monkeys. Actually they´re not called jungle badgers at all, they´re called Coatis, but for the purposes of a past joke than only my brother Ben and my cousin Matt will understand, to me they´ll always be jungle badgers.


a jungle badger


sweating at the top of temple IV
Tikal was stunning, and huge. We climbed as many of the temples as we were allowed, although only I climbed temple V due to its very steep stairs, as I´ve discovered I´m apparently fearless of rapidly plunging from a great height whereas Clare it seems is a bit more sensible. We did however both climb the tallest temple in the complex, temple IV, and the view from the top was amazing. There were lots of spider monkeys in the trees right in front of us, leaping about as if we weren´t there watching them.

 After the tour was over we followed the more remote trail to the temple of the inscriptions, but the monkeys and toucans and insects were what made the journey worthwhile. Clare was a little nervous of walking down this trail on our own but it didn´t stop me stopping to photograph a small beetle hauling its tiny but precious load of dung across the path, and latter tagging it online as Helen Rawlinson.